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Saturday, December 10, 2011

Pumpkin Pie Fiasco

This is the story of a pumpkin pie whose short life was tragic indeed. It started out with the filling, for this pumpkin pie was going to be special. It was no ordinary pie, but a chiffon pumpkin pie, and one that used gelatin to set up. My Grandma Woodfield makes this pie EVERY year for Thanksgiving and when I was asked to bring a pumpkin pie I knew just the one to make to bring a bit of home to the table.

Tragedy #1: It pumpkin mixture wouldn't get thick. I started freaking out. Big time.

Tragedy #2: The delicious butter pie crust was ruined. See the following story: It all started when I was trying lift the foil carrying the pie weights (all I had was rice) out of the pie.

Yes, the foil ripped and the rice came cascading onto the floor, stove, and, yes, pie crust. Freaking out again. BIG time. Calmed myself down enough to think logically enough that the quickest way to get rid of rice out of the pie crust is to pour the rice OUT of the pie crust. Well, it turned out that such thinking was not quite logical because not only did the rice come out of the pie crust, but the pie crust came out of the pan. Sigh. Yes, you read that right. Sorry, no picture. Cue tears. 

Tragedy #3: It was 10:00 at night. 

David, the dragon slayer that he is tried his best to mend the situation. I'm reminded of my dad when I was 6 or so during halloween.  Some stupid teenager knocked my perfect carved pumpkin off of the railing creating mashed pumpkin.  My dad the hero picked up the pieces and glued them back together for me. Or toothpicked them back together... but through my 6 year old eyes everything was better and my pumpkin was resurrected. 

HOWEVER, putting the pie crust back together only somewhat calmed my soul. I think it had something to do with the fact that I was a not so innocent 24 year old. But, it helped get me off the floor. :) * 

David picked up the pie crust and put it back in the pan. What an embarrassing sight. I made that? I wanted to disown the crust. It's really misshapen, and dare I say it...UGLY. On a happy note most of the rice is gone. As David carefully tried to spoon the rice out of the crust I pessimistically pointed out that there was rice on the bottom of the pan. 

Alas. It can not be salvaged. 

Tragedy #4: It is 10:30. 

What is a poor distressed husband to do? Go to the grocery store and pick up a pie crust mix. He is a wonderful dragon slayer, if you ask me. I dried my tears, made the crust, put it in the oven while following the directions EXACTLY and low and behold Tragedy #5: 

It would have been funny if I wasn't devastated. 

Tragedy #6: My pumpkin pie filling was now COMPLETELY SET and the crust still had to cool. 

But despite all 6 tragedies, I suppose it all worked out and my pie still looked beautiful, if not unconventional. 

Those are leaves, not fish. 

End of story. 

*Have you ever seen Julie and Julia when Julie sits and cries on the floor after flipping the tressed chicken onto the floor spilling the stuffing? Picture that... I LOVE that movie. 


Nicole Wendorff said...

Oh Rachel! That must have been a rough night. But yay for husbands and creativity!!! It's a good memory.

Erica said...

mmmm. you are such a good cook. I would eat your pie.

Jennilyn said...

Ohh, sadness & memories-in-the-making. Thanks for sharing your tragedy & the spouse-binding solutions.

Debbie Barr said...

This is why I never try to blind bake a crust! It just sounds so hard.

(I use the recipe on Libby's pumpkin puree, and it's actually really good! And no pre-baking the crust required.)

Don't worry, we've all had crazy disasters in the kitchen. :)

Julie said...

I am so glad you married that dragon slayer and more importantly that you can laugh about the fiasco now. :) And, um, yes, I did see the resemblance to fish when you first sent me the picture. :) Love you!

Laura said...

This reminds me of my first married Thanksgiving. I wanted to make home made apple pie, crust and all. I learned I cannot make pie crust. I think I might have thrown it at the wall. My husband was sure he had married a psycho. Now I just don't make pie. I'm glad your pie worked!

Jenny said...

Rachel, That is so funny and awful. Why does it always happen when the food needs to be taken somewhere?

I routinely cry and throw food away that I ruined. Especially the first year I was married. Ed ate so many meals that were intercepted at the trash can because I said they were ruined (because they WERE) and he insisted they were still edible even though I refused to eat it.

Also, for the ward pie contest that you mom won I totally screwed up my crust and didn't want to bring it but my husband made me anyway and when I got home I saw the second stick of unused butter sitting on the kitchen counter, which was the reason my crust wasn't working out. freaking pie...

So I am probably not instilling you with much hope. It's fun to be able to blame my screw ups on the weather, or an apartment oven, or something like that though. I'm becoming queen of cooking failure excuses.

Marianne said...

I know this is NOT funny, but I kind of had to laugh, and I bet someday you will too. These are the kind of events that make the BEST memories!!

Love you!!!